Now I've done it...again #5

[nephartiti]

It was all lies. The junk about them not talking anymore. He is and has been living with her the whole stinking time. He is also living with her boyfriend. He still insists it is platonic?

Let's review, shall we?

The last two weeks of June he spends hours calling, texting, disappearing with her at "meetings". He becomes "confused" as to whether he still loves me. He is at a "crossroads". We are in "different places". He lies and lies and lies.
The day after he leaves, he gets a new cell to call her 20 times a day. He moves in with her and her "boyfriend". For his entire 2 month vacation, he babysits her at the school. I see him come out and leave with her. (Mind you two weeks ago he claimed he just happened to be leaving at the same time as that person. She was no one). Tonight I find his van parked right next to the same jeep that he followed "no one". I know I have committed a grave DB sin, but I would rather know the truth then be sitting here thinking he is just taking "space" and going "slow" when in fact he is with her 24/7.

I know he is angry right now, but he said he does not want me or our family. He just wants to be left alone. I asked if that included the kids or if was just me. The kids too. He doesn't want any of it?

So all of that stuff the other day was just to keep me at bay. Actually, she was probably PO'd at him for something, and he came here. Then they made up and he went back. He can't get his story straight on that one. Go figure.

He's sleeping on the couch because we were driving around endlessly and the kids got really cranky. I had to put them to bed. He doesn't want to be here. In about 2 1/2 hours, I will have to take him back over there.

He wants me to file. He knows I have seen a L. He doesn't have "time or money" so he wants me to do it.

I just might oblige. I can not stand all these lies. I know I don't go about everything the right way, but I am always honest and transparent. Through everything, I have stood for this marriage and this family. If he can't even put a little effort into trying to see his kids once a week, then we are better off without him.

Of course, it is still all my fault. I got the third degree for having the kids out past 8. He has no idea what goes on with us on a daily basis and he's going to give me a guilt trip for having them out after dark? He's not home because I'm crazy? But he leaves his kids in my care exclusively? He trusts the crazy person with his kids? I'll tell you what's crazy. A man who leaves two beautiful children, a warm bed, and a loving wife to share another woman with another man and sleep on their living room floor. Crazy is spending your entire vacation sitting in someone else's classroom and fetching her Starbucks.

I am not crazy, and I am not worthless.