No, I went to OW's house. The one that "fizzled" out and there was his stinking van parked next to her jeep. I kidnapped him. Well, he kind of went willingly to avoid a scene, I think. He is asleep on the couch but he is not happy. ARe you guys still around?
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
It was all lies. The junk about them not talking anymore. He is and has been living with her the whole stinking time. He is also living with her boyfriend. He still insists it is platonic?
Let's review, shall we?
The last two weeks of June he spends hours calling, texting, disappearing with her at "meetings". He becomes "confused" as to whether he still loves me. He is at a "crossroads". We are in "different places". He lies and lies and lies. The day after he leaves, he gets a new cell to call her 20 times a day. He moves in with her and her "boyfriend". For his entire 2 month vacation, he babysits her at the school. I see him come out and leave with her. (Mind you two weeks ago he claimed he just happened to be leaving at the same time as that person. She was no one). Tonight I find his van parked right next to the same jeep that he followed "no one". I know I have committed a grave DB sin, but I would rather know the truth then be sitting here thinking he is just taking "space" and going "slow" when in fact he is with her 24/7.
I know he is angry right now, but he said he does not want me or our family. He just wants to be left alone. I asked if that included the kids or if was just me. The kids too. He doesn't want any of it?
So all of that stuff the other day was just to keep me at bay. Actually, she was probably PO'd at him for something, and he came here. Then they made up and he went back. He can't get his story straight on that one. Go figure.
He's sleeping on the couch because we were driving around endlessly and the kids got really cranky. I had to put them to bed. He doesn't want to be here. In about 2 1/2 hours, I will have to take him back over there.
He wants me to file. He knows I have seen a L. He doesn't have "time or money" so he wants me to do it.
I just might oblige. I can not stand all these lies. I know I don't go about everything the right way, but I am always honest and transparent. Through everything, I have stood for this marriage and this family. If he can't even put a little effort into trying to see his kids once a week, then we are better off without him.
Of course, it is still all my fault. I got the third degree for having the kids out past 8. He has no idea what goes on with us on a daily basis and he's going to give me a guilt trip for having them out after dark? He's not home because I'm crazy? But he leaves his kids in my care exclusively? He trusts the crazy person with his kids? I'll tell you what's crazy. A man who leaves two beautiful children, a warm bed, and a loving wife to share another woman with another man and sleep on their living room floor. Crazy is spending your entire vacation sitting in someone else's classroom and fetching her Starbucks.
I am not crazy, and I am not worthless.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
He just makes me so mad because he just sits there silent. GGGRrrrrrrrr. Even now when I catch him at her house, he denies everything. And if he can't figure out his story he just says goes quiet or says "I'm not going to talk about this now." Let me tell you something. He will never ever talk about it. Ever. When he has his lies all sorted, then he will come with "It was a friendship, but it fizzled out. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore." Yeah, right. Whatever, buddy. I won't believe that again. Oh. I am so gullible. Sure, give him the benefit of the doubt. What an idiot I am. I should have dropped him off at the bus stop. I am way to soft on this man.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
I'm trying to figure out what to do next. Everyone is asleep...
I guess I should try to get some sleep. I'll just keep my cool and take him back there in the morning. He wants out, that much is clear. He has been lying to me, and I have been lying to myself.
Tori
"The sexiest thing is trust I wake up to find the pirates have come tying up along your coast how was I to know the pirates would come?" (Jamaican Inn)
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
I tried to lay down, but I just can't sleep. I am wired and now my head hurts. I don't think there was really anything left of my marriage, but if there was, I have just blown it to smitherines.
I can go 2 ways at this point. 1. I am nice in the morning and take him back to his girlfriend's house. I don't say another word on the subject. I just let him go. 2. I am a total *itch and make him get to where ever he has to go on his own. By then, I probably will be tired and will want to sleep.
I'll probably be nice, but #2 is so tempting right now...
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
Wow, Neph! But if he went willingly with you, it's not kidnapping. Still he is a lying, sneaking, everything else. I think you should wash your hands of him. This kind of immaturity is not going to go away over night. I don't think he is fixable. You are still very young. It will be hard raising 3 kids on your own, but you can attract a better husband. You will have to be careful next time to find one who does really want to be part of a family.
