Morgan-- I have only been half a step ahead of you, I swear. I so wish it was different. But it isn't, is it? In the end, though, we are going to end up ok.
We kept our integrity and our vows. We loved our men. We were human and made mistakes, but tried to right the wrongs. We fought long and hard for what we knew was best for our families and what we ourselves wanted so desperately.
In the end, we didn't get what we wanted. But I think you and I, friend, have gained so much more. More insight and acceptance for who we are and what we need. No more complacency, but thankfulness for every day and the good that does fill our lives. Being able to wake up and look ourselves in the mirror, look into the sweet faces of our children, and know that we have earned the respect of the only people who really matter--ourselves and our kids.
Someone at AlAnon tonight talked about being tested by the cosmos vs the Laws of Attraction/the Secret. I'm not sure of an answer to such a philosophical idea, but I do feel that certain people and events have kind of "dropped in my lap" through this mess, just when I needed it most. Is it coincidence? I am beginning to think that no, it happened for a purpose, that there was some design to it that I just can't see yet. This coming from a practical agnostic not that very long ago...
Take care of Morgan. I am glad that you got the anger out--I turned all of mine inward and it turned into depression. It will either hurt you or someone else, so better it be directed at the person who deserves it.
