VS, You've been together since you were 18?! Sounds like a MLC to me. See what happens. Does your state require a timeframe before divorce? Try and slow it down if you want to. Study Michele's books and books on adultery. Think about what you 180 will be.
You are going to obsess, every second, every minute. Just breathe and think of the bigger picture and what you want to achieve. Take care of yourself.
If you find that you are truly having a hard time, consider going to your own therapist and / or seeing your family doctor for anti-depressents or anti-anxiety meds. There are also holistic alternatives to these as well.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
