when will I ever learn? just typed out a long reply on my previous thread and it locked on me, and poof, my reply disappeared.
in a nutshell, I did a lot of thinking while out and about tonight. trying to reprocess what I have read so far in crucial conversations. trying to remember the respect for h, even when I don't agree. and the more I thought about it, the more I just realized that he did the best he could do with who he is at the moment. he opted for the easiest path...the one that was easiest in the now. call it fog, call it childishness, call it whatever you want, its who he is, and as such, I shouldn't have expected more from him. I have done the best I could at each stage...from my pre-db hysteria, to my db as if behavior, to now. when I know better, I do better. maybe someday he will, too. maybe not. his call on that...he may always be this way. knowing that, I shouldn't expect differently.
anyway, that's the jist of it.
I'm feeling pretty good. again, there will be hard moments ahead. devastating ones. but I feel good now...and feel content now...as content as I can feel, anyway.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
