Yup. The problem is that I still want to say it. I still ant to kiss him everytime I see him-even when I'm PO'd. Sometimes I want to pretend this is all a bad dream and just get on with our lives already. The only thing is it isn't a dream and he may never come home. *sigh*
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that my neighbor invited me to a Hush Party on the 10th. For those of you who are innocent like me and have no idea what this is, it is a *cough* sex *cough* party. I have never owned a toy, and I'm not really looking for one, but I am going to be adventurous and at least go to the party. Boy, it's getting hot in here.
How's that for GAL? Sitting in a room full of women shopping for sex accessories. Maybe it is indicative of my lack of a life. Not sure how to look at it... Well, it's something different with different people. What the hay?
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
Last year I was visiting my daughter at college and she told me she had a party to go to that night, and I wasn't invited. Turns out it was one of those parties. And she couldn't bring me! Where exactly does she think her hotly sexed little being came from?!
When I was about 13, I came into my mom's room. She was cleaning out a drawer and I picked something up and said "What's this?"
She casually replied, "My vibrator."
I gasped/screamed and practically threw it across the room. She just laughed.
I don't know why I am so prudish. My parents were hippies and definitely weren't modest about anything. My dad managed a few sex shops in his day, actually.
I love sex. I do. I just never felt the need to bring other accessories or people into it.
OK, now I am blushing.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
I was finishing up S2's costume on the sewing machine H bought me for my birthday (not this past one, but the year before). For years I had been borrowing my mom's that was older than I. It was just one of those thoughtful gifts.
I am not good at receiving gifts and compliments. I usually respond with some sarcastic remark. If he got me flowers, I would say something like, "Are these because you thought you were in trouble?"
If he didn't get me a gift, I would feel neglected (b-days and stuff). If he did, I'd complain about the money. I remember he surprised me with a bluetooth ear piece. I couldn't just say, "Thank you. That was so thoughtful of you." I had to complain that I wasn't sure I would like it.
This is just me feeling insecure and unworthy of gifts/attention, but it comes off as just *itchy.
So, I called and left a v-mail (he didn't answer today).
"I was just finishing S2's costume, and I wanted to thank you for the sewing machine. I wanted to thank you for everything you've ever gotten me. I wanted to thank you for every time you bought flowers, left a note, every little gesture. I know that sometimes I came off as unappreciative and sarcastic. I am sorry. I really did appreciate them and they mean a lot to me. Thank you."
Don't know how he will take it, but it was sincere. Over all, I feel pretty good about it. He wasn't always a cold hearted jerk.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
hey neph, personally, I think that is great. don't pursue further, but good for you for recognizing that about yourself, and for having the courage to say something.
no more calling, but honestly, db or not, I think its great.
eta, hey, if time marches on enough that you do consider a vibrator, there are plenty of discreet ways of obtaining one. and while they are not the real thing by any means (not in my book, anyway), they can really take the edge off.
(of course, i am cringing in horror at the idea of finding one in my mother's drawer. ack!)
Last edited by morgan; 10/30/0711:58 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
rofl....'get thee thy own devices' from Morgan is ringing in my head!
So Morgs, Oh knowledgeable one....where is the best place to get one of these devices (think international here) and what's the best one?
Hey I may as well get one that's ahem...different to what I have experienced in real life, especially now that I don't have to explain myself and my decisions to anyone else (in that area!).
urgh...I don't think my mum would know a vibrator if it fell into her..um...lap!
ROFLMAO! Nothing to contribute- except I'm laughing over here
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
and have no idea what this is, it is a *cough* sex *cough* party. I have never owned a toy, and I'm not really looking for one, but I am going to be adventurous and at least go to the party. Boy, it's getting hot in here. 