Down and out...need hope.

[sandi2]

Oh T......you just keep pressing and pressing and pressing. You don't get it! How can we make you see that she does not want a R with you now? Sorry to be so plain, but you won't listen. She wants to feel free and you are treating her like she is still your W....which she is, but she doesn't want to feel like she is your W....that is the point. She wants to be free and she doesn't want you controling her life.

I asked her what his name was. this ruffled her.."how do you know its a him?" because she would have told me their name. so, she told me it was a guy going through a divorce that a friend recommended she talk to. to me, this was a blind date. nice friends she has that are supplying her dates right now.

You know without me saying it that was a big "no-no". Yes, she is still M to you and you acted like the jealous H. Was it worth it? Maybe you felt better but I can promise you that you hurt yourself doing this.

I asked her why some much anger and hatred towards me.

You are kidding, right? After the way you acted?

she said she wasn't mad and didn't hate me but doesn't know how to act around me. says if shes nice, I take it wrong,. and if shes not, I get upset.

And she is absolutely right.

so, I told her how unhappy I was that she went out on a date. she said it wasn't a date,

See? You keep pressing the issue of it being a date. You got mad, and showed her how mad you were by spending the night away and then go in an want to know why she's angry and feeling hatred toward you!

Listen sweetie, you are hanging onto false hope. You wear her down to the point she gives up and listens to what you have to say about the R and you think you've gained some ground. She shows a little compassion and you think you've earned brownie points. She is wanting to buy a house, tostada! She does not want to be with you right now. If you don't back away and leave her alone and let her live her life.....you will lose her forever. Listen to me friend, you can lose some time with her now and hopefully get her back by doing a lot of work on yourself......or you can keep pressing her and acting like the jealous, controlling, husband.....and lose her forever. It's your choice. Don't say it is her choice......b/c you are just blaming her. The ball is in your court and you better play it right or you've lost it forever.