I see that there are always very good books recommendations around here and that probably we've all read everything we could but I just wanted to share this part of a book with you.Unfortunately it is not in English but it was very interesting.

It said that some people betray because when they were teenagers and started to experience their sexuality they felt rejected by the world they lived in and did not get what they expected. They married but when someone unexpected gets closer, they are reminded of this rejection and try to compensate.Their low self esteem makes them "sexual beggars" and it is hard for them to say no.They did not learn that from the past.

It also says that there are two kind of cheaters: the ones that can love a person and the ones that just love to be in love. The first type divide their worlds by the people that are lovable and the ones that are not. They can put their bondage expectations temporarily on someone else when they are going through a hard time in their lives since the current person they are sharing with them reminds these hard times. The second type feel something is missing because loving involves two people and they just love to be in love not another person. They blame their marriages for this feel and uses affairs as a medicine against depression.There is a sub-type as well, the ones that have affairs because they need to be constantly reminded of their manhood or womanhood.They pretend they are looking for someone better than their spouses but the fact is they don't care about any other person, not even the OP, at all they just care about themselves and constant validation.

Usually people that have affairs are not completely mature emotionally and lacks self knowledge. The book also says that if no step is taken towards maturing their emotional side they will always be unhappy no matter with whom they are with and the moments they think are magic outside a significant relationship will be always temporary insanity.

Last edited by hurtandlost; 10/30/07 10:17 PM.

M 10 years
Me: 34 y
H : 35 y

Bomb: March/07