IMHO, there isn't a need for full disclosure here. It's already happened, so unless you plan on seeing her again, the "I'm not really into you" talk has no value.
Unfortunately I see her twice a night -- once on Lindy Hop night and again during dance performance team practice (she's on the team). This kinda sucks...
Puddle,
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It sounds like you've been mulling over (or maybe just subconsciously exploring) the possibility of dating someone else, despite your previous thoughts on the matter.
Oh sure, I've thought about it, and I was pretty sure that this girl in particular was interested. However, I had no intentions of going there until a) she made many not-so-subtle hints that night, and b) I got drunk and, well, you know...
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It would've been better, of course, to choose more, um, soberly to be involved, to make a really awake, conscious choice.
No question. Although she made the moves, I'm still pretty darn sure I would've kept myself in check if I was sober. Of course, I think she knew that and probably saw this as a prime opportunity. Damn it, I feel so taken advantage of! lol
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The part of you that's ready to move on---already thinking about this friend's cousin as a potential R---sabotaging the thinking you by getting you when you're drunk?
Maybe. I have to admit that since my weekend in Sun Valley during the jazz fest, I began to feel much more "liberated" from my responsibility to my failed M. I had some me time thinking about that during that weekend, but wasn't sure on where these feelings would lead me. Add much alcohol, and there you go! I do actually see that I'm more okay with things than I thought I would be. Not as emotionally affected (surprisingly).
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Big bummer about the young woman, though. That's unfortunate. I'm sure you'll be kind, though. Be kind!
Oh definitely! I feel bad enough as it is. I know by her texts to me all day the next day that she is hoping for us to continue down some sort of R path, and did my best to be kind without leading her to believe that we were going to go down there. I struggled with just saying I don't want that, and am trying to figure out how to tell her politely and respectfully, you know?
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Why guilty about not having the kids---general guilt about them or because it was your choice? I think I missed something.
Both. Don't think you missed anything. I have guilt for both. They've asked for mommy and daddy to do certain things with them together, to live together, etc, a few times throughout the separation, and I just wish I had the power to make things better for all of us as a complete family. I know the choice I made to start alternating weekends was the right choice, but I never wanted to lose time with my kids. It's a double edge sword. It doesn't matter what choice I make -- both have something selfish in them and both have disadvantages for the kids.
Heim,
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Wow, I'm going to your party next year.
Yeah, it was a pretty good turnout and we all had lots and lots of fun throughout the night (yager bombs and cherry bombs were a constant). You're definitely invited next year!
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All good stuff and good to see you not worried about your W's reaction. You're NOT worried about your W's reaction, right?!?!
No, not worried. I'm actually perfectly okay with her finding out. "Frankly, Scarlet -- I don't give a damn!"
Bring on the D. I'm ready to move on to the "Surviving the D" forum and with life! Just want to quit thinking about W as much! I'm in an interesting situation: I'm moving on with my life and not concerned about what W knows and doesn't know, but I still can't quit thinking about her.
