Madonna/Whore Part 8 (aka Attachment Therory)

[Heywyre]

Hi RHW

This is the first posting in a long, long time (I know) but things have just been too upsetting for me and I had to take a break from the boards for a while

H and I are still together, primarily for the main reason my brother is still living with us and needs a stable home environment for the time being. I can't see him living on his own for at least another 4-6 months at the earliest.

There have been many ups and downs in the past couple of months but I think we have finally come to a place where H is realizing the importance of cooperating and assisting me to get through this.

We had our first "date" last Friday and it went well. H has NEVER been one for dates, and even hates the name. We stayed home (primarily due to the fact that brother went out for the evening to visit friends and we were alone for a few hours for the first time in 2 months - since brother's arrival)

We had a glass of wine, some munchies and we talked - calm and collected. Then I suggested a game (of course I had planned this out well in advance) and out came 20 pieces of carefully folded paper, each containing a question (some simple, some provocative) and we took turns back and forth, asking the other the questions. It was a fun time and I highly suggest it to all (a better idea would be to have both partners input their questions instead of just one, like I did)

A couple of days later, I asked him about some phone numbers that were on his cell bill. He very calmly told me what they were and even called them one by one to show me there was nothing awry about them. THAT was a HUGE step towards building the trust after all that has happened in the past few months.

We still have some major hurdles to climb over but I think we might have just turned a small corner towards repairing this mess.

He even admitted to thinking about sex with me EVERYDAY!!! Everyday? Can you believe that? Even though we have not ML in over two years (and almost 3 before that) he still admits to thinking about it. Now we just have to find a way to get there. That also seems to be coming around slowly but surely.

The only thing I am not pleased with is H has stopped seeing the therapist. He feels he doesn't need to anymore and is "tired" of people telling him what to do. He feels we can handle things on our own now. He has also reduced his AD but at least that is under the supervision of his doctor (and me) so we will have to keep a close watch on that one. I definitely don't want him slipping yet again.

We are going to a comedy show this Friday night and then Saturday and Sunday he is actually going to a 2-day seminar with me about reprogramming your sub-conscious mind

Have any of you read any of Bruce Lipton's books? FANTASTIC !!! Now we are going to take the seminar (Psych-K) to put it all into motion (hopefully). Basically it is a way to meld the two minds (conscious and sub-conscious) together so they work in harmony. Your conscious mind is only 5% of what you do so you can see how important it is to have some control over your sub-conscious. The theory is, we are pre-programmed from the time we are very young and now the "software" is outdated and needs to be changed, but the computer (us) doesn't know how to change it - Psych-K is the process

It is not an inspirational seminar (I can't stand those) but rather a building block to better yourself - more along the lines of a self-healing, empowerment

I am looking forward to it - especially since H has agreed to go too.