it would do more harm than good. Period. The only possible good thing to come out of it is the knowing that OP found your spouse attractive. Once that fact is established, nothing else is needed. Details hurt and cause obsession on the spouse's part and sometimes, for nothing. I can tell you that a guy kissed me when H and I were separated. Actually 2. One guy's kiss was NOT invited although I felt sorry for him due to pain in his life and would have "allowed" a hug, if ykwim. Anyhow, his kiss was so wet, slimy and all over the place/face, that I almost laughed. OMG, I MISSED my h MORE then. But why tell my h that?
The other kiss was from a nice guy I really liked, but would never choose over my h or M, and no, we didn't go further and yes, I could have. Too weird to be with a new person after a long M. I would think it'd take a good long time for me. My older sister didn't start dating at all, post D, for over a year. She then dated a guy for a year, before any PA started. BTW, she married him. But she also said at first it was pretty weird. I doubt the PAs these WASs have are ALL totally wonderful. There is value in familiarity.
But unless you fear a STD, who really benefits from knowing? I think the LBSers who want to know, REALLY just want their fears allayed and to gain peace from knowing either nothing happened, or it wasn't good. But if SOMETHING did happen, or it wasn't all bad, how on earth can the betrayed spouse benefit from knowing? It would color the reconciliation efforts too, I fear.
Just my two cents. My h said no PA took place, and I guess since no PA took place on my end, despite opportunity, I'll accept that. And move on. It would hold me back a lot otherwise. Plus, if the WAS returns and is affectionate and intimate, isn't THAT the real answer/solution? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
