Oh okay, thanks guys. I have scheduled for classes for next quater, I really want to finish my degree. Also I've always wanted to go to Denver and I am with her in December. I am starting to work out more and read books. I have been playing video games again, man I miss how much fun that was, like being a kid again. I went to several parties lately and I have meet some new people. I still wear my wedding ring so I'm somewhat nevous that other women till not talk to me.
Yes, yes, yes, those are great GAL's. If you think it will help, take the ring off. You are no less married than you are with it on, right? So get comfortable, and go out and meet people.
Would it be manipulative for you to take a call from her when you are at a party (with all the party chatter - women's voices, too)? Oh, you bet... So, in the event this occurs, you have my blessing to answer on the first ring!!! Tell her you can't talk for long because you are out having a great time... all is good with you.... right?
OK, don't get me wrong. The idea is not to make her jealous. You just need to demonstrate that, although you got punched in the nose, you are back on your feet now, and having a great time.
Your myspace page screams that you are desparate. Get rid of all that "woe is me" brokenhearted crap.
Break away. Let go. You will not get her back until you do so.
Regarding things that you don't think will phase her... I used to think the same thing. Until the wife started dropping little comments.
Look, she's gonna do what she's gonna do, and there is nothing you can do to stop her. So you might as well salvage some dignity along the way. I'm here to tell you, there is no dignity in being clingy...
yeah I know...I was in the process of changing all of that. I like to think that she will drop comments to me.. I know she is gonna do what she wants and I need to accept that and not try to change her mind.
Oh okay, thanks guys. I have scheduled for classes for next quater, I really want to finish my degree. Also I've always wanted to go to Denver and I am with her in December. I am starting to work out more and read books. I have been playing video games again, man I miss how much fun that was, like being a kid again. I went to several parties lately and I have meet some new people. I still wear my wedding ring so I'm somewhat nevous that other women till not talk to me.
Yes, yes, yes, those are great GAL's. If you think it will help, take the ring off. You are no less married than you are with it on, right? So get comfortable, and go out and meet people.
Would it be manipulative for you to take a call from her when you are at a party (with all the party chatter - women's voices, too)? Oh, you bet... So, in the event this occurs, you have my blessing to answer on the first ring!!! Tell her you can't talk for long because you are out having a great time... all is good with you.... right?
OK, don't get me wrong. The idea is not to make her jealous. You just need to demonstrate that, although you got punched in the nose, you are back on your feet now, and having a great time.
I thought that those would be good GAL but I feel like sh!t still. I am really thinking of going to the DR. and getting some anti-depressants. I am also going to get some weight gainer...I only weighted about 160 when we got married and now Im down to about 137, I know she would like me to gain weight cause she was always telling me to.. About answering her call while im at a party...well she will have to call first. As far as she is concerned I am dead to her. Maybe Im just having a very hard time accepting that our marriage is over.
It's definitely not easy. I agree with Mark.. take the ring off. You would be amazed at how your self esteem and attitude soar when women start talking to you!!
The whole point to all of this is that she is doing what she is doing.. you have to worry about you.Sounds like the weight gaining thing is a good one. Go to the gym.. make gaining weight a goal and work on it.
Matter of fact, maybe a good idea to have the weight gainer sitting out as well as have gone to the gym on the day she is back. Don't tell her... let her ask.
The other thing I've not seen anyone mention is 180's. Have you read any of the books?
A 180 is basically doing the complete opposite of what you would normally do. From her comments "I don't want to hear the same old same old" it sounds like you need to institute this ASAP. Next time she calls and you talk.. NO TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP. NO TALK ABOUT D. Act as if you could care less. If she brings it up.. agree with her.. "You're right.. we should go our separate ways"
These things do work. I would suggest getting the book. If you need to hit the doc.. hit the doc. Just FYI.. it takes 2 weeks for those pills to kick in. Although they should give you something heavier for "just in case"
A lot of folks here are on AD (anti-depressants). I was on one, but quit because of side-effects. Too lazy to go back to try a different one. For me, spending an hour on the treadmill or running outside is enough an AD for me, though. But don't think for a minute you are alone in that department.
It takes time to accept what is going on. Nobody said this stuff was easy. Once you get the AD, you will feel better. The anxiety will go away. It worked wonders for me in that regard. I just couldn't sleep more than two hours a night. No kidding...
It's definitely not easy. I agree with Mark.. take the ring off. You would be amazed at how your self esteem and attitude soar when women start talking to you!!
The whole point to all of this is that she is doing what she is doing.. you have to worry about you.Sounds like the weight gaining thing is a good one. Go to the gym.. make gaining weight a goal and work on it.
Matter of fact, maybe a good idea to have the weight gainer sitting out as well as have gone to the gym on the day she is back. Don't tell her... let her ask.
The other thing I've not seen anyone mention is 180's. Have you read any of the books?
A 180 is basically doing the complete opposite of what you would normally do. From her comments "I don't want to hear the same old same old" it sounds like you need to institute this ASAP. Next time she calls and you talk.. NO TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP. NO TALK ABOUT D. Act as if you could care less. If she brings it up.. agree with her.. "You're right.. we should go our separate ways"
These things do work. I would suggest getting the book. If you need to hit the doc.. hit the doc. Just FYI.. it takes 2 weeks for those pills to kick in. Although they should give you something heavier for "just in case"
Just some more of my 2 cents.
I have been doing some 180's, I read alot more. Yes I have read DBer and a sex starved marriage. I also got books on communicaton and how to attract women. Here is my thing, I do not want a divorce and I want another chance. I know that I need to stop that. This is what she is talking about, she doesnt want to hear that. But when we talk Im going to ask about the cheating, I want to tell her that I can learn to forgive her and we can make it work and be happy again...but I know she doesnt want to hear that. How should I handle that???
Think about it for a minute... the reason she doesn't want to hear about it is she feels guilty. She doesn't want to face facts.
Trust me.. I'm there with you on that. To this day my W claims she didn't cheat because the paperwork says we were separated.
I know you are hurt and want to know and want to forgive her.. here is my advice. If you want to forgive her, then let it go for now and forgive her. In the long run it will make things easier for both of you.
By bringing this up now, you will only push her away faster. She doesn't want to face what she has done.. especially not with you. Trust me on that. I still don't know all the details, but I have forgiven my W. I had to let it go.. for her and for me.
Think about it for a minute... the reason she doesn't want to hear about it is she feels guilty. She doesn't want to face facts.
Trust me.. I'm there with you on that. To this day my W claims she didn't cheat because the paperwork says we were separated.
I know you are hurt and want to know and want to forgive her.. here is my advice. If you want to forgive her, then let it go for now and forgive her. In the long run it will make things easier for both of you.
By bringing this up now, you will only push her away faster. She doesn't want to face what she has done.. especially not with you. Trust me on that. I still don't know all the details, but I have forgiven my W. I had to let it go.. for her and for me.
I thinks that is great advice. But I want her to know that she hurt me and that I really do know what happened and that I can forgive her.
Think about it for a minute... the reason she doesn't want to hear about it is she feels guilty. She doesn't want to face facts.
Trust me.. I'm there with you on that. To this day my W claims she didn't cheat because the paperwork says we were separated.
I know you are hurt and want to know and want to forgive her.. here is my advice. If you want to forgive her, then let it go for now and forgive her. In the long run it will make things easier for both of you.
By bringing this up now, you will only push her away faster. She doesn't want to face what she has done.. especially not with you. Trust me on that. I still don't know all the details, but I have forgiven my W. I had to let it go.. for her and for me.
I thinks that is great advice. But I want her to know that she hurt me and that I really do know what happened and that I can forgive her.
