just got an e-mail from him about rolling the pension money and asking what I thought would be best for it. guess he's figured out I am not going to budge on it. maybe that's wrong, I don't know, but my dad drilled it into my head a long time ago that you don't touch retirement money. one of his options was to put it into 529s for the kids, but I won't do that...I want it for retirement.
am I being too stubborn? funny how some things get so drilled into your head...like mom's insistance on good shoes, and they have to be of natural material (like leather).
Pick your battles. You may need to come up to speed on all things financial (if you're not already.) Moving the pension money into 529, last I checked, would be a taxable event, not a direct rollover.
My WAW is a mom who stays at home. I did some research (and talked to a L) in case she filed to prepare for the worst, and DB my butt off to keep that from happening. I'm still looking for ways to protect my kids if it comes to a D. I'm a firm believer of anything in the bank stays there, spend the interest (when you retire) and leave the principal to your kids. Moving my pension/IRA/401(k) to kids in any form wasn't an option. YMMV.
You may be able to roll over from pension to 2 different retirement accounts (is the pension with the current or former employer?) Each account in your own name. Then if someday he decides to touch it, your half is safe.
There is no need to be stubborn about leaving the retirement money in retirement if there really is no other option (such as 529). Although he may benefit (indirectly) from what you learn, you really will be helping yourself. Alimony stops eventually. A sahm friend of ours has been D for a few years and she has hit this point and is panic stricken. She now needs get a job, deal with what do do re 401(k) etc. and address all things financial. I help her as I can. Now she wished (and I quote her) she spent "less time on the phone with [my WAW] and more time understanding money."
Learn what you can about what assets you both currently have, and what options are available to you.
