I don't know if I should continue to DB.

[missmyfriend]

Lis and IMP put it best. Trying is not something that sounds even pleasant. "Trying" sounds like trying to nail jello to a wall. Extremely fruitless and frustrating. I cannot force my spouse to do anything or try to make this whole mess happen any quicker. Even the D. I am letting it happen or not happen. The D is for her, not me.

The hardest thing to do is to let go, of everything. I am still working on that but I am getting closer and each day I feel like I am getting better. My love for my W still exists. The desire to control the sitch is diminishing.

Breton, really consider how awesome you are on your own. You existed before H. You weren't half a person before H. H is supposed to compliment you, not define you. A lot of people do not like this comparison because our spouse is not our child or our brother or our parent or an uncle or whomever in your life but the fact is H is a family member and always will be. We have relatives who disappoint us and hurt us. The best way to handle a family member is to let them learn on their own because they will never listen to you. Let H spin while you become who you are supposed to be. If things work out where H wakes up and realizes how wonderful you are, accepting him back in your life will be much easier and you will be prepared for the mess he made.