Hardly faking it anymore: Puddle's third thread

[Heimlich]

This doesn't feel like loving detachment, but maybe indifference with a hint of disdain. What does that mean? Is this progress? Just a stage? Did I skip something?

I believe you've said in the past that neither of you were totally happy in this M. Maybe the way that he's been acting is allowing you to really evaluate your R, and him, for the first time without blinders on. Just a guess. Plus, he's not been a very appealling person, as described by you. Could be a protective mechanism to keep yourself from getting hurt. Is this a feeling you've had in the past with other Rs? You've said you have a hard time opening up. Is closing off the way you've dealt with things in the past?

Don't know if one or any of those things ring true, or a combo of them.

I'm more a European coffeehouse/margarita on the beach kinda girl myself

I'm with you on this one. Snow cave? Freight train! Whoa. Sounds like you're in a good place regarding this guy. Looks like it's going down the friend road. Still, be careful for the legal reasons you mentioned. I could see your H going nuts if "you had an A" and being a butt about a S and D.

I'm with you on the not feeling married thing. While at the Halloween party (the parts I remember anyway), I remember thinking for the first time that I'm really free to talk to any of these women without any restrictions on what happens after. Really sunk in for me.

Sigh, if I hadn't been quite so happy, might could've done a bit of devil dancin'. Poop.

Sounds like you both need some space to get your heads on straight. I feel a little bit like you, I'm starting to see more of my W's unattractive qualities and starting to begin to think about HER. I still love her and all, and I'm confident we could have a good life together. Yet, the more I think about it, sometimes I'm not as quite as confident that we could be a great couple and that she can give me what I need/want in a R. You're not alone there.

Muddle on through,

BD