ttho: Thanks for the advice, but I have shifted my focus. My goal is no longer the salvation of my marriage. It's about the salvation of me. I intend to pick up the pieces for myself, and be strong for my kids. You said what he did "worked" for him. Well, what I am doing is working for me. Not for us, not for the marriage, but for me.
If she wants to come crawling back, I will listen to what she has to say. But there are no guarantees. If she wants to cling to the thread of hope with him (or even keep her job - her boyfriend is a colleague), I will not welcome her back. She needs to show drastic change, and I am skeptical she will be willing/able to pull them off convincingly enough to satisfy my particular palate.
But, having said that, the likelihood of her crawling back is very low. If you want to know what she looks like, look up "stubborn" in the dictionary. Yep, that's her picture.
But thanks, ttho. I appreciate the good thoughts and support.
