I want to have conversation with my h. He is not a talking kinda person.
He is a physical touch kind of person.
If 50% of the things he tells me 'triggers' me because they can be related to our problems or his new woman, he says 'fine, I won't tell you anything about my life then'. that would be fine if I could have a relationship/friendship with him that didn't involve conversation. However, it is what I ache to have with him. Just little inane conversation, small talk, giggles about silly things. If I am on tenterhooks around him wondering what he is thinking and what he's been doing with her and his new life and if he's mad with me, or just thinks I'm useless - why would I want to expose myself to him by having a conversation with him?
I am not comfortable just 'hanging' with him. At some point he ends up touching me in more than just a brotherly way or making some sort of sexual comment to me to let me know that he still finds me attractive and it makes me just so sad that he can't talk to me first and we can't laugh first. It makes me uncomfortable, It makes me feel like he wants me to be part of a harem. I'm sure he doesn't but that's the way it feels. I feel like my upset is an overreaction but my upset never really gets validated.
so to summarise (ha!) if I want conversation with him, but he is not going to tell me anything because anything he does say upsets me 50% of the time :(because I don't think he thinks about how a reference to his new girlfriend might upset me) then how can I have a friendship with him??
It's like he wants to skip over all the hurt and pain and guilt and jump straight to a 'happily divorced couple who are now really good friends'. Man...that sort of sh1t takes months, maybe years to get to. He wants to get there in less than a month?????
where is the respect to the space that I need? where are my cojones to explain myself clearly???
