Well, it's a touchy subject. We had a big 'discussion' tonight. I'm really not sure where things are going - I'm losing hope. It's like she wants to go on with everyday life, as if nothing has happened. Like I should not question her, or need re-assurance of her intentions. It is apparent that changing jobs is going to be an issue. Unless she would happen to find/fall into a great job, there will be resentment. I'm not sure what to do with that. She is frustrated, because she feels like I want her basically locked in the house now. All I'm asking for is some accountability - and it isn't like I've been harping on it, or questioning her constantly. Yet, it seems the 6+ months of constant lies and denial, meanwhile letting me bend over backwards trying to make things better, is not grounds for skepticism. How am I supposed to trust again? I REALLY want to, but I honestly cannot even begin to imagine what will help restore it. Especially, if I'm not getting (whatever) postitive feedback that I am looking for (and honestly, I don't even know what that positive feedback would be - but I think I'd know it if I saw/felt it). I so bad want things to work, but at times think it would be easier on my heart just to bag it now. But that's just the quitter in me, I guess..
