There and Back #11

[mkultra]

OMG I am reading a fcitional book called Getting Rid of Matthew from the O's POV and she is confronted accidentally by the wife and she realizes what an ass the H really is and dumps him. Good for you. Good job. Well done. I am proud of you. Even in the face of all this sh%$ you held your ground and remained honest and steadfast to your integrity. THEY ARE DECEITFUL to the bitter end. Did you hearthat??? Unbelievable. It is so F$%#ing twisted. They are sick.

Why can't you go dark, for real? At least a little while? Why do these folks have so much contact with you? No more bills. No more mail. No more bank statements. Emails can be limited. No more cell phone VMs. Cut off all contact until he is sane. He is clearly living some twisted double life full of deceit and it is too cruel for you. I really hate that chick. What kinds of skanky friends does she have? What must her mother be thinking? They do need to choke on each other. How dare he blame you for their break up. Is that the most displaced guilt one has ever heard!!!!

How to handle the rage? I call a friend. Unfortunately, I may sneak a secret smoke )(shhhh!) in the garage and read US Weekly. They always have the latest celebriy trash about who cheated on who and it makes me feel like I am in OK company. Guilty pleasure. I watch Pride and Prejudice, the ending and think that I would be far better of with a Darcy than a Wickham and now I will know how to keep a Darcy a Darcy. I call my momand even though she is a hardcore B, just knowing that she is a survivor makes me feel like I can survive. Lastly, I watch TV with the kids. If I am alone I drive to Longs and buy new lipstick. MK list of rage survival. Although your is inflamed right now, nothing has really changed. It was a piece of mail that caused a huge trigger effect, right. Nothing in the world altered at all. They may stay together and he is probably putting on the damage control in full effect. This is the time when you must fight his damage control with the utmost integrity and poise. Do not let him demonize you. Make yourself martyr /demon proofed! Cover your back and stay positive. You are the truthbearer, the protector of your children. No more put downs or preaching. Karma will take care of H. If he does not recognize, he will grow and old lonely man with no one to respect him. He needs to mend his ways. You are awesome. No more put downs. Even though they are true and he deserves it. It just does not hep your case in th elong run. remember his DNA in the kids. Although they have your heart!