Yes, you can bet she has imagined how it would be to be married to the OM! That is part of the fantasy. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You've got to listent to me. This is not the girl you married. She isn't thinking, acting or talking like herself. But she must be making somebody believe something.
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It is so easy WHEN THEY HAVE SOMEONE ELSE to fall back on and then the LBS becomes the "evil one" and is blamed for the WAS's life not turning out the way they pictured it.
You keep saying things like this! Why? Where do you get off thinking they have it so rosey? Why are you the evil one? B/c she said you were or b/c she wants you to think her life is rosey? If so, then she has you believing the lie! You are feeling sorry for yourself.
Your pride is hurt....that is obvious. But I don't think (speaking as a WAW) that is the intentions.....hurting the H's pride. Your pride is hurt b/c she has turned to OM and talked about your M to somebody else. There is no easy way for a W to leave a M without hurt feelings. I just wished you could see past yourself to understand this is not reality and she is not "winning" here. You must stop saying things along that line. It is not helping yourself but instead, it is keeping the anger stirred up. You won't begin to start doing positive things until you start to cool the anger.
She may want this to be real for her....but what she dreams of and what will really happen are two entirely different worlds. You have to decide if she is worth fighting for and if she is then do it in the right way....which is DR.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
