So I have this asinine tendency to not believe anything nice he does. (Hm, does that sound familiar? I feel like a fish, flip-flopping which side of this thing I'm on...) I keep thinking he's going to revert to mean-nasty-guy, and I have to fight myself from getting snippy and grumpy with him.
He's inched a little closer the last few days. I really want to turn, run, and be mean. sigh The thing is...he's been consistently nice for the last year now. (You know, with normal-person fits in there.) Ugh.
Mostly, I noticed a new bout of wishy-washyness on my end when he gets a little closer.
So, last night xh actually snuggled up to me on the couch. (!!) It's been months since he's tried that... I think our lousy R talk from a couple of nights back must have released some pent up angst in him, because he's been sweeter ever since. Been offering more tidbits about what he's up to on a daily basis.
Oh...found out something interesting yesterday...
xh, as I've mentioned, had this really bad habit of allowing himself to be sidetracked by women in general. (The whole ego-boost for low-self-esteem thing.) Anyway, I already knew he tended to go this gay club with his friends. (Two FF's, one gay MF.) I just assumed it was because of the content of the group...you know, less hassle for the women, more interest for the gay MF. Anyway, so yesterday, xh told me if he hangs out at gay clubs, he is much less distracted/tempted by women. Said it was one of the tips he picked up from the group counseling last year. Huh, who'd have thought...
He also mentioned something else interesting the other day. He was complaining about how many young women seem to 'notice' him on campus. He was complaining about how it bothered him. His first reason, was he said something to the effect of: "I'm not as good looking as you guys say I am." (Self-image issues, clearly, which I already knew.) His next comment was more telling. I can't recall exactly how he said it, but it was something to the effect of: "I know you've said you don't want to date someone who gets a lot of attention." I fumbled through a "It would also depend on how they handle it," but was pretty startle by his response. I'm getting a clearer idea of what may be holding him back...
