Hummmmm, maybe I place too much emphasis on sex. To me it is making love. Yes, it can be fun......if you are doing it with the person you are in love with......which would lead to problems (it seems to me) if you were actually separated and there were talk of divorce. I know if my H and I were separated and then we had sex.....he would automatically think everything was "fixed" in the M. B/c when haivng sex (or as I call it, ML).....you kiss and touch intimately and usually say loving things to each other....or at least we do. So, nautrally, he would think I was ok with the R if I had sex with him. Like I said, we are old fashion and I guess our ways of thinking about sex is completely different from a lot of people now adays, but it is making love and that is strange to me if you are having M problems at the time and nothing is resovled before ML....during or afterwards. Do you just pick up where you left off with the anger, coldness, hatefulness, or having an affair or whatever the person has been doing.....after the sex act is over? I'm not trying to be difficult about this....I truly want to know b/c it just kind of amazes me that so many people feel that way about it....that's all. If it was just "stress relief".....I don't have to have another person to help do that......I find a vibrator is a lot faster and easier and it makes things a lot less complicated. In fact, if it hadn't been for that......I would have built up a lot of stress over the past eleven years. (lol) You have to excuse me.....I have to have a sense of humor in my stitch to keep my sanity. You see, the difference here to me is that that is relieving stress.....but you can't make love to a vibrator. I would resent the fact that my H would want to "use" me for something to release his stress......or even for his entertainment if we were on the verge of D.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
