impossible situation #2

[saffie]

Before. I knew I wasn't happy but compared to the majority of people's lives I had/have a cushy number. I am a stay at home mom, who has a busy life but like your wife chose to have that busy life. I think I was probably suffering from an empty nest - not that my children had left home - my youngest was around 6 when I started feeling I was sinking and my eldest was 13 with two others in between. I think they were just getting more independent so I was thinking about the future. I think subconsciously I was questioning what I was going to do with myself for the rest of my life. I didn't like who I was and I didn't like how I behaved. I had grown apart from my support network of other moms as most of them had gone back to work. Although 'busy' I spent a lot of time in my head by myself. Everything in my life was all or nothing. I was very lonely even when surrounded by others. It was the fact that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in that unhappy state that motivated me to seek help. The suicide attempt was a direct result of my H having the A. I was at a very low point when he told me about it - I had just opened up and shown him how vulnerable I was and then he told me that. It was the last straw. My children saw stuff they never should have. They are great kids and appear to have bounced back - I guess only time will tell.

I don't know if your wife will be able to continue like that for years - maybe she will. It didn't take much to push me over the edge in the end and realise I needed help; unfortunately though it does have to come from within.

My H had been my best friend pre children. After having them other women friends became my confidents rather than H. It just happened. We no longer had career similarities - I left that world behind - willingly - and moved into a different world. We lost our connection somewhere along the line. I realised I wanted that back. He WAS my best friend and I wanted him to BE my best friend again. I think we are just about there now.

Saffie