I had to spout off that I'm sure she was happy to have a new excuse to hook-up with OM while she's there.
Why? What made it so uncontrollable for you? Not being critical...just curious.
(BTW, sometimes I literally bit the inside of my mouth to keep from saying something stupid. If you don't know what to say, just say nothing!)
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Well, I resisted (barely) the urge to point out to my XW that I had recognized this evil creep immediately.
Good! She already feels hurt...your job is to continue to validate her feelings. Rubbing it would have just made you a sore winner.
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She refused to answer her cellphone the entire weekend. (I didn't call, but our D17 tried repeatedly.) She refused to answer any of D17's questions about where she had been or why she wouldn't call home.
Your XW may have thought D17 was fishing for info for you. (Was she?)
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So why is she in such denial? I suspect her pride prevents her from acknowledging that I had been right about him from the beginning.
It has to run its course. You just stay out of it, and this other guy will inevitably hang himself.
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In anticipation of the advice that I will probably get to ignore my XW's dating habits, detach, and work on GAL... You're absolutely right.
See?
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On the other hand, shouldn't I see this as a positive development that my XW should recognize that I wasn't so bad after all? I mean, even without my self-improvement efforts, I have to look good in comparison to OM, right?
Apples and oranges. Don't worry about measuring up or not. Worry about being a good father, and your own life right now.
You know this...you even said I'd say it...but sometimes we have to hear things dozens of times before it'll sink in.
Rubbing it would have just made you a sore winner. 
