impossible situation #2

[saffie]

I went to see my doctor and got referred to see a lay C. She was very kind but kept wanting to go over the past, (which was useless). I then went to see a psychiatrist who put me on AD's, (well actually upped the AD's I was on and added in a new type) and he referred me to see a Clinical Psychologist who specialises in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at my request. The first few sessions with the clinical psychologist I just never opened up and then I stopped going. Then I was making myself so ill and my world was falling about me so badly that I decided the only way forwards was to actually trust this guy and really tell him what was bothering me. It was with his help that I recognised where I needed to work on myself. He helped me open up to my H which then led to my H telling me about his A. The psychiatrist then helped my H decide what to do visa vis our M. At this point I had just tried to commit suicide as I thought everything was so dark and I did need the psychiatrist. 16 months on from there I am basically fine. Off AD's and functioning. I go to see my CBT clinical psychologist fortnightly but it is to work on moving forward and learning how to prevent such things happening again rather than 'damage limitation'. I am learning life skills and they are great. I still get down now and then but I am no longer depressed or classified as depressed.

I did have to hit the bottom before I would accept help and start to bounce back. Perhaps your wife has further to fall yet. My H says it is like having the woman he M'd back. I had forgotten how to laugh and enjoy myself. I was like a bulldog with a wasp in it's mouth all the time.

Your wife can change and you may be suprised about her willingness to go for help. It's not nice to feel like that. By the way I should say that people who knew me would never have said I lacked in self esteem or confidence. I was always told I was quite scary!!!!

Saffie