Help me thru this sitch

[Pudmuddle]

Gosh, I love this forum stuff, it is so helpful to get insight into how I am projecting myself. Thank you Puddle, and you can shorten my name to PS, lol @ pms, didn't see that one. D'oh!

I can see clearly that he is still trying to work through his feelings for me, when he still questions where I am at and what I am doing, even though he feels he is not supposed to be caring about me right now.

No, I ended up not going to the party because I really wanted some alone time by myself and didn't feel like partying in a loud atmosphere, I WAS going to go but ended up not. I know it kind of still sounds a little deceitful, but that truly wasn't my intent...something I am still working on, being more grounded inside.

And you're right I realized after I has said that that it had been directed at him in the end, and that was not my intent also. It seems that I feel like I have this stuff down in my head I know exactly what to say, but when we actually start talking, I get flustered and am trying too hard and forget what to say. I am still practicing this as well.

the only thing that concerns me about waiting for him to talk is that he thinks that when I don't bring things up that I don't care and he can just go on his merry way. But you're right again (darnit!, lol). I do need to wait until he needs to talk out his feelings. Again, practice, practice, practice.

I also have had many comments from peeps here on the fact that we kind of do have a grey area regarding the seeing other people thing. So now I kind of look at his seeing this OW behind my back as a continuation of the swinger thing, even though he feels he is extremely emotionally attached to her right now and has to be loyal to her by not being emotional or physical with me. Kind of odd, but he has been emotionally attached to her from day 1, which tells me he was trying to get my attention on what he needed.

Yeah, the 180 of telling him my daily whereabouts confused me to since it seemed to oppose the LRT, but I think I might try it and see where it lands with him. If not a good thing, I can go back to being detached.

Yes, I've realized I do the sarcasm and don't have too, it was a defense system for recognizing flaws in myself and others and trying to make it seem funny by being sarcastic. But I see now that that has only damaged things. Maybe if anything comes out of this, I will be a proper lady!! Haha

Yes, I saw that the book thing, even though he said he would, kind of backfired because its still sitting in its cordoned off spot. I will stop that...for now.

Thanks for your keen insight Puddle. I really do appreciate the constructive feedback.