The pain is that it often manifests publicly as a rejection of their spouse, but that is merely a projection.
YES!!!! That is so true. In fact many of them abandon because they are so afraid of being abandoned. They feel so unloveable, and unlovely.
We take it sooo personally - and I am very guilty of this. I 'know' that I am strong and lovely and desirable, but a bit of me takes myself at h's apparent evaluation. So I have allowed his sickness to diminish me. How stupid is that??
If someone attacks you you don't feel it is your fault, but the subtle nature of the MLCer's 'abuse' can turn us into abuse victims, if we let it. We need to be aware of the danger, and where it is coming from. We see it as an external attack, but actually it is the enemy within. And that we NEED to fix, MLC spouse or not.
