I have begun to contemplate the idea of divorce ... I think to myself, Well, at least this would be over.
It is a misconception that a legal divorce means it is over...ask Laughing. For her it is over in that she will not take her former spouse back, but he is constantly draggiing her back to court, trying to keeo her focus on him. And it is not over for those who are Standing and do not want a divorce.
Part of it may be over...the part where you decide you will not take him back someday. But you have a child together. He may choose to be cordial, but he will always be in your life.
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Now I am so tired of feeling rejected and unwanted.
How do you personally feel about your Self? MLCer also do not want to be or feel rejected, but the irony is it is there own Self they are rejecting. The pain is that it often manifests publicly as a rejection of their spouse, but that is merely a projection.
Accepting and loving your Self can help you or even prevent you from feeling rejected. Throughout Sweetheart's 6 in/outs I never felt rejected, unloved, unworthy. I always felt lovable, sey, beautiful, successful, confident etc. I have and had moments of sadness, frustration, anger etc. But I knew his crisis was not my crisis; it was not personal.
So think about how you feel about yourself and measure from there.
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I feel like I do not want to "try" any more. Then I thought, well, maybe "trying" is part of the problem here.
Trying presupposed failure; it gives a person an excuse to not succeed. Thus yes, it is part of the problem.
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So my question is, what does detaching look like, versus giving up?
Detachment is what I call a Releaser. It is the first stage of the Releasers. The next stages are Letting-Go and Surrender. So waht is this regarding giving up[i/]? Giving up is a [i] can't. It is a whine. I'm not capable, it's too hard. And it is something you can choose to do if you do not want to take him back. It is vastly different than giving in; which is surrender. Surrender to God, the crisis. Accept. Instead of fighting against the current, give in to it and allow it to carry you, trust that it willcarry you SAFELY to where you are meant to go.
