So get a lawyer, but do not discuss it with your husband. This may anger him; TOUGH. Refuse to discuss legal anything legal issues. Tell him he can talk to his lawyer.
We've been in your place. I refused to discuss any legal proceddings and always refused Sweetheart to the lawyers. He was pissed when I got my own layer, was pissed when I refused to help him fill out his paperwork--he should didn't need me to tell him my soc #, date of birth or our wedding date!
I told him "I'm sorry you feel that way." When he said I was being vidictive. I told him "That's how these things work." When he complained about my refusla to discuss anything legal. And when he didn't like what I did regarding the legal issues, I balmed it on my lawyer.
But he didn't stay angry for long necause I remained calm and refused to rise to his baited anger.
MLCers will refuse counseling...some will go once or twice to help the LBS accept the end of the marriage. So let him do that. But you need to go on your own. Find a pro-marriage counselor who will not only be a therapist but also a mentor/guide, helping you leanr how to deal with someone in crisis.
No more relationship talks. No more how or why don't you/can't you love me, stop loving, fall out of love etc. They don't stop, but if this is MLC, he is so confused and wrapped up in his won confusion that his feelings are burioed int he rubble. He doesn't want to accept what is happening to him and that it is within himself. He is not happy and your marriage is the greatest life-fator, therefrore he must be not happy because of your marriage. So he will blame you and your relationship.
And maybe some of his complaints are valid. Loo into yourself and listen to his complaints. What do you need to change about your Self? Try new changes, some you won't like--so don't keep them. In the end, the changes need to be for YOU.
You need to accept that he will not discuss your relationship. HE's already done that...he said he wants out, so he may feel there is nothing more to discuss. And right now, he is correct. If this is MLC he needs to fdix himself and devote his enrgy to that endeavour before he will even be capable of putting energy back into your relationship.
So give him space. Space from talking. Physical space as needed.
Find your strength and happiness....and he will wonder. You really should be in a crisis, depressed, sad, agry etc over what he is doing, so why are you strong and happy; he's not. Maybe he should look back at you, you must know something he doesn't.
But if you seem weak instead, he will run farther and faster. And i the beginning, fake it 'til you make it. Act strong so that you become strong.
So think about what you can do to recover your strength and find Peace. List them here.
