hey toots, hope this day finds you looking ahead and not at the rear view mirrow , which goes for me first, since I've gotten those crazy thoughts again abour "what ifs", anywhooooooooo, have a great day today!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Still post occasionally in MLC, but not as often.....finding out STBX is bipolar and not MLC, so I don't want to scare anyone there with his antics!
And....I'm getting D'ed on Jan 8 (next Tuesday) - never thought I would say it, but I'm glad. Sad that it all happened, but knowing what he's in now, it would have been a very crazy and hard life, and he doesn't want to accept help at all from anyone, so it's best to stay out of the path of abuse.
I hope you're well! I can't believe how long we've both been here - what a saving grace to have you on my side!
hey a14, as I saw your post I went back and read your old posts, how eerily familiar, we have been in somewhat parallel universes, it's been a long road. My H still struggling horribly with his demons, I hear you, sometimes I think S would be easier, but here we are still.
Cant' believe how long we've been here either, I also count this website and all my friends here as a huge blessing, hugs honey, will keep you in my prayers)))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Always, I am sorry - no matter how necessary it is - for your upcoming D (are you and Lissie getting D's on the same day?? kismet), in that the whole road has been so fraught with peril and pain. you have shone so brilliantly through it all with your honesty and your light. I am so grateful for the insights you've gained, and shared with us here.
On that note, I have no adequate words for the wonderful, thoughtful, caring, sharing people on this DB board - on all the forums I frequent I am blown away by the posters (current and former) and their hearts that I see. Why not take this new year to tell you all so. You are strong, and caring, and giving even in your deepest heartbreaks. I am humbled to have found such a place to see inside your lives and dreams, and am encouraged HUGE by the fact that there are such people still living and breathing in this crazya$$ world we live in. Wish you were all here in NC so I could 'hug your neck' as we say.
cat, how r u? i've had moments (too many) of my H close to the edge of sanity in his misery, and i think of your H. it's a very frightening thing to witness, isn't it, for anyone but especially for the one you love and cannot reach with any words or gestures.
been reading these boards a lot in the past few days. can't decide if that's good or bad -ha. not in a place to update yet. keep wanting to, but my energy is spent. it's exhausting to live here in stepford, believeyoume.
2008 has had 4 really suckjob days in it so far, but my inner [dumba$$] optimist still believes it has to be better than the last 2 have been. has to be, or to quote REM i may be Losing my Religion! I can't believe it's been a year since I was so excited to get rid of 2006, and 2007 was just as yuck, with no ML to boot! UGH!
I told someone earlier today that I'm holding up my tee-tiny Bic lighter in a very dark concert venue, in the (albeit faltering-) hope that God will show up for an encore performance. It's so hard to wait for Him to swoop in and save the day. But I do see where he's protected us, and I try to thank Him on a regular basis for all He is doing that I cannot see.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
hey bi, my H has actually realized at some extent how faulty was his logic and thinking "feeling bad? go to ow", he acknowledges that, i'm thankful for it, she in turn supposedly told him the last time they talked that she never wants to speak to him nor to contact her while he's still married (jeez, how noble, and yet she still is holding out hope), along with a few harsh words.
H is pretty broken, how i wish he'd take some aD, he wont due to hsi job. The negative thoughts are eating him alive and how I wish wish he'd know the stuff I've learned here, I've told him some, and he noods, but I know it will be excrutiatingly hard for him to stop the guilt beatings. Hope he gets more doen at the T on monday. I hurt to see him hurt, but I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, he sees ow as what she was, a crutch, a whore, a desperate person, whom, in a way, he used when he felt bad. I Hope he is able to forgive himself and let us heal. I feel stronger, our Dear Lord has take over when I cried out and admitted to my weakness of handling this trial.
A beautiful paragraph from my bible study said how we worry so much about something which God has safely in his hands, instead, we should focus on the One who has the power to make things happen.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Stopping by & saying HI!!! How are things with you & H??? How about an update....or, do you still update your blog?? What's the link??? There doesn't seem to be many old school members around - had a hard time finding you....
, which goes for me first, since I've gotten those crazy thoughts again abour "what ifs", anywhooooooooo, have a great day today!