"On the texting.. I dunno.. that's a hard one for me. It makes me SO angry. I realize my reaction is (mostly) under my control... but at some point forcing myself to smile and be fake and ignore it is just NOT working for me."
I promise you, it isn't fooling anyone else either.
"I can't (so far) figure out how to stop the rush of emotions when I see it happening. He KNOWS I don't like it and it's why he mostly hides it... the consequence? I shouldn't spend time w/him when he's doing it, I guess."
This is soo wishy-washy. Your H is having at least EAs with TWO women. You "guess" there should be some kind of consequence, like you won't eat with him while he is texting at the dinner table, maybe, sometimes, perhaps?
How about you don't spend time with him until he stops it and changes jobs and cell phone numbers?
You still seem so porous when it comes to H. You are doing things you don't want to do. It is sapping your energy.
For 24 hours, do only things you want to do. Change your mind when you want to. Say what you want to.
