Butterflymom, Looking back, I have to say that I gave my H the benefit of the doubt by looking at his invlvement with both ow and myself as an addiction. In actuality, there was also the cake-eating element; like a manipulative child, if he could have it all and get away with it all, he would have. It is part of the confusion and failure to mature and be responsible.
I don't feel there is one way do handle the sex dilemma. I do know that engaging in a sexual triangle can wreck havoc on self esteem.
I tried to have faith that the best part of him would win out. Addiction and/or cake-eating is no way to go through life.
As I have said before, the MLCer needs to have hope that there can be a sexual relationship. The maturity comes when they realize it's more about intimacy than sex, and that problems can be handled together rather than running away.
