Been gone all weekend and thought I would offer my opinion on this since I seem to be in the minority of people who are ML with their MLCer.

Notice I said ML - not have sex.

It's a tough call for me. Really tough. One I struggle with all the time. In fact H and I just talked about it this weekend. Should we keep going or should we stop? Was it healthy? Etc. Etc. We couldn't really come to a conclusion.

We both decided it was very intimate and emotional for us. It feels good on many levels and I truly believe it's what has kept a connection between us. When he came back the first time he even told me that ML was a big part of why he wanted to come home.

This quote really hit me.

Quote:
The MLCer who wants to be home but is feeling the addictive pull of OW/OM is a different situation from the one who is cake eating, and often times it's too confusing to figure out what's going on.


That's where I am right now.

Is he cake eating? I don't get that feeling from my H. I get the feeling that he wants to be home, but can't seem to pull away from OW.

We had a really good discussion on Friday about this very thing. H is very confused right now. He doesn't know what he wants to do. He misses me. He loves me. He misses the kids, but he loves her too and doesn't know if he wants to let her go or not.

He's clearly not ready to.

He's told me it's going to take him some time to sort some stuff out.

He told me that he's not going to ask me to wait for him as that would be unfair.

He doesn't want to give me false hope about anything because he truly does not know what will happen with his life.

When I left him after dropping the kids off on Friday he gave me the saddest yet most intense look.

There are a lot of other things there that I'll try to post later in my thread, but I honestly don't think he's a cake eater.

I think he's confused. Heck, I know he's confused. He's told me in so many words that he is confused.

Now whether or not I'm prolonging things my continuing the sex with him I don't know.

I don't think so. I don't think that anything we do can prolong it just like anything we do won't shorten it.

BFM

I think it just has to run its course.

There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections