What do I do with her?

[Mike is Hurtin']

Strange and NCplayer, thanks for your responses. There's a lot of food for thought in both, and I'll address a few points in each.

To the point about money and lawyers and such - the joint accounts are already closed, and I spoke to a lawyer last Wednesday. We're not quite at the point of drawing up separation papers (for a few reasons I won't go into), but rest assured that there is no financial support going back to her. She works and is supporting herself, as am I.

Friendship. This is a complicated subject, and one I'm still struggling with. At the outset of the separation, it *seemed* important to remain friends, but it's been tough. We had our first "date" night last Thursday, and it was just awkward and difficult.

That said, I have made a resolve to keep our contact (telephone and in person) as cordial as I can make it. No desperate ploys or long talks about what went wrong, etc., etc., but rather that I'm pleased to see her and hoping she's as happy in her new situation as I am.

Something else I'm learning to do is to "keep control" of our contact. Without being rude or obvious, I make sure I'm the one who ends the phone call, or brings the visit to its logical conclusion. Again, the key is to do this politely and respectfully, just as one friend would do to another when a visit has come to its logical conclusion.

I'm doing my best not to think about reconciling at this point. W has a long way to go to prove that she can even be a friend to me. Until that happens, I don't think it's necessary to speculate any further.

Cheers,
-- Mike