I posted this on another thread in answer to what my sitch was. I'm not sure if it covers everything or glosses over too much but I thought I'd repeat it here for my reference and to maybe flesh out my sitch for others.
Quote:
Short answer
H said two-three years ago. You are getting fat, I'm worried about your health. And oh, by the way, I'm developing feelings for someone else.
I lost 25kgs. Took up rugby union. Was in the training squad for the National Team (didn't make it to the big time though - hadn't played for long enough)
h getting progressively nastier and more distant towards me. I trying harder to connect with him.
h dx with depression
h had an affair with a friend we both knew (was his friend first but I got friendly with her too). He confessed to a one night stand but concealed who it was with. I believed everything he said.
We decided we needed to separate.
Fast forward three months. After some drama the truth about that affair came out.
h apologises. wants to fix things. Understandably I am suspicious and hurt.
h still distant. Starts what I think of as an EA with someone else. Spends a lot of time 'looking out' for this person and no time working on himself or our r'ship.
I try and walk away around april (our tenth anniversary). he begs me to try again and 'take this journey together'. I pick my heart and guts up and try again.
I DB my arse off (didn't know what it was called then) between April to September.
H then drops the bomb that he is getting more than just friends with another different woman.
I am done at this point.
h still wants to be friends. but still wants to be intimate with me if the opportunity arises. I try this but end up feeling worse.
I have tried to be friends but there is too much hurt and snappishness there. I need to remove myself. I need to concentrate on me and d.
i need to get the guts together to tell h that I can't be his friend any more. I don't want to hang around with him and get my nose rubbed in it anymore.
so that's the 'short' version.... _________________________
