Thanks so much. I am strong because I have to be. I can't just stand there and let things fall apart, it's not in me. I have a solid moral base and as far as I am concerned I am married and if he won't sleep with me for the next five years, then that makes eight years without sex for me. To have any type of reciprocal affair or "date" would just be wrong and I couldn't do it. I can't lower myself to that level. I took a vow when I married and I meant it when I said it and I intend to keep it.
My H has a psychiatrist that he sees about once a month, and he has been doing pretty good with the depression for the last two years. He was hospitalized twice because he became suicidal, but he has been off meds for 10 months and is holding his own. I think you're right that he needed to boost his self esteem by "saving" someone else. OW has many mental and maritial problems of her own and needs a self esteem boost to make her feel attractive again. I'm sure she has sobbed her troubles to him many times. He still insists that they are "just friends" so maybe he is lying to himself as well as me. I think that sometimes he feels guilty, just by his behavior. He seems confused and quiet sometimes.
We got along okay this weekend...no fights or arguments. He has left for work now, actually, he has gone to meet her (I saw an email). I won't see him til later this week.
Still trying.... ME 48 H 38 M 9 Y TOGETHER 11 Y He still insists they are "just friends"
