impossible situation #2

[Dom R]

Thank you for the encouragement

I was actually doing the "get a life" thing a bit more strongly a month ago. I may get back to it in the near future.
I've definately been spending too much time online here in the past week or two.

i still do "me" things... but lately, they've all been at-home type stuffs.


FYI, back on the "she'll never change" topic: SOMETIMES... she changes things about herself. Little things, in a way... and yet still noticable.
I dont remember exactly what it was any more, but there were a few things, that I finally came out and told her, "look, when you do this, it REALLY bothers me, and it isnt fair that you do this. is it?"

The interesting thing is.. I dont think she ever apologised. or said "you are right" when I confronted her. BUT... she changed her behaviour!



PS: Another reason I'm still hanging in here, is because we still end up having sex 1-2 times a month I particularly enjoyed something we tried out on our trip a few weeks ago.. seemed like she did too
At one point, (while being separated) it was once a week!
If we could get back to that, and i could feel confident that she was not going and screwing other people, [whether in RL or online] I could almost live like this indefinately, if it was just about me.
But it's not just about me. it's about our children having to deal with a broken home.

Ironically, our children are probably part of the reason she DOESNT want to change things, even though she would never admit it. Right now, she gets 2-3 evenings a week that are completely child-free, so she can just veg out and play games without interruption. Plus, when she has them, her mother is right there to lessen the load!
In some ways, the current situation is less stressful to her from a child minding standpoint, than if we lived together again.

That isnt exactly putting our children's best interests first, though, is it? (something she always claims to do).
sigh.

PS: clarification: I dont believe that staying "separated but legally married" is particularly good for our children's future marriages. Their parents reconciling, and actively working to repair and maintain their marriage, is what is beneficial for them in that reguard

PPS: it was "her weekend" with our children today, but, at the request of one of our sons, we did a little "play in the park" thing together today in the morning. was nice.