One day at a time, #3

[LL44]

Luv, its not necessarily a bad thing he can't come to the house. He is feeling threatened/controlled, if he came by now (and you guys were alone), then it would probably turn ugly. Now is the time to make it 'safe' for him to come visit (if you want him to). Start paving a new road, a safe road, for him. If he picks up the kids, enjoy your alone time and don't worry. Neph is right, they know deep down they don't want to take the kids (to Cali) and that it would be so wrong to do so. They want to hurt us, but they won't use the kids.

Sorry!

[LuvMyHusband]

hi everyone, well, he is here. We came home from church and here he is. He's taking a nap right now, I suspect he might have driven either late or very early. He tried to fight with me yesterday evening. I wouldn't do it. I just said, I love you and want you to come home. I just wouldn't do it. He got annoyed and I said Ok, good night. I can't believe how upset he is over the money. Incredible. He won't hardly look at me or even speak to me. What a baby. Anyway, I'll keep you posted.

[LuvMyHusband]

oh yeah, he's sleeping in the spare room. Oh well. He also brought the stuff with him that he took when he left. Don't know what's going on.

[Dr LOve]

Luv,

Avoid making him feel unwelcome. In the beginning sometimes you need to bite your tongue a little and just let them spew their stuff and LET IT GO. After a while it's no fun to argue with someone that will not argue.

But he is in your house what a great start.

Take care and try not to sweat the small stuff. He has had it easy with you sending him money. Worrying about money is new to him.
Husband

[nephartiti]

Listen to husband. Give him space and make it safe. No matter what, be nice Get out a little too. You will both need breathing room.

[LuvMyHusband]

Hey everyone! I've got great news! We have had a major break through. I went up to see if he wanted to have dinner with us. We started talking and kept talking and kept talking about EVERYTHING! He wants to work it out. He knows that the OW is not the answer, yes, we talked about her, thoroughly. No p/a but definitely some inappropriate stuff going on. He is going to call her today in front of me and tell her it's completely over. We are going to start working together on things, everything. He needs to go back to Ca to get his things and talk to his parents about us. We were up talking for hours last night. Tears on both sides. I suspect there will be more talking today. I asked him what he needed from me to feel loved and that I am his friend? We are going to start working on trust, one is that there won't be any more passwords between us, two we are going to C, three while he is gone getting his stuff and helping his dad finish up on the house, we are going to talk on the phone and play games on the game site that he likes.

I am very happy, cautious but determined. We both want things to be better than before and I think we know our mistakes.

[saffie]

Congratulations Luv. I am very happy for you.

(((((HUGS)))))

saffie
Remember - trust means NO SNOOPING

[LuvMyHusband]

Yes, I remember and there won't be. I think with things being open it will allay my feeling like I need to check. what suprises me is my reaction to his disclosures about her. I didn't get angry, I cried a little but thanked him for being honest with me. He is a little concerned that she is going to try to strike at me when he breaks it off with her. He suggested that we change our home number and our cell phone numbers.

[saffie]

As long as you don't believe her over him it shouldn't be a problem. My H was always very wary about any interaction between OW and me in case OW said anything that would set me off. Actually once she had been rejected I never heard from her again.

saffie

[Larrynarry]

WOW Luv!!! That is awesome. I hope things go well!!!