Wow MK....seems to me like the ball is sitting in your court. And who knows how long it will be there? You can pick it up and keep playing or walk away. I have no words of wisdom. It seems like these are the harder times...when the H may have a flicker of interest but no real desire to put effort into rebuilding. And knowing it will take ALL of the effort you both have, what do you do?
Thinking about you and take your time deciding your next move.
Me (36) H (42) M (12) S-8 D-5 SS-18 D Day (PA) 12/02 S 10/03 R 1/03 S again 9/07 I choose Joy.
My H has not changed at all. He is just as cruel and verbally abusive as ever! I drove to work at the bar and his car was parked across the street again, even after I asked him to stop hanging out downtown especially if he was there to meet OW which hurts me that I even have to ask that. Where is his mind? Is he trying to be cruel? How blatant are these a$$holes that they even be together in public right in front of my work. Why do I have to ask? Plus, I was dressed up for the costume party and I was so happy because I love Halloween.
He just makes me so unhappy and he dropped F bombs when I called his cell to ask why he was parked there. He yelled, What Fin business is it of your what I do!?" He lies, cusses, he is mean and cruel he humiliates me and he even attacked me as a mom. WHICH is crazy.
The other night when he called we were making rainbow cookies for his birthday. D6 spelled out WE HEART U DADDY! in rainbow M&Ms. My S2 was eating some left over candies and my H started scolding them sayig , Why does your mother have you up this late? ( Why did he call that late?) Eating candy past 9! That is very bad for you!" I knew that was a slight on my parentig. He is horrible.
I hate to say it but I think my H is a real pervert now. He has gone off the deep end and I think that is one reason he is so sickly and depressed. It is like that movie Bitter Moon, once the normal couple tried a few perverted things sexually, they could not go back to being normal My H seems like he is going down a spiral to hell. I am a teacher and a mom and I am natural in everything. His OW has piercings and tattos everywhere. She looks and acts like a teen and works in a store that peddles more than lingerie, they sell adult porn and toys. This is her thrid job. She is a poor street punk and he has no place to go accept to hang on her. I am fine with that adult stuff but would I want my D to work in a place like that? That peddles porn, hell no. I always figure my girls who act like that have been molested or abused like Dr. Drew says, "Normal healthy women do not strip or sell porn." I belives that about going after married men too. My H used to be appalled by the whole meat market thing. How far he has fallen and now he is completely LOST.
Last edited by mkultra; 10/28/0705:42 PM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I then said some of the stuff from that Oprah tape and my letter. I acted as if this would be the last convo I would ever have with this man so I let him have it. I really never want to see him again. he will never ever be the man I married an had kids with. No way. If he did this to me, his mom, my mom, and our daughter, th eprson he lovesmorethan anyone, then he is really gone. I just have to tell my heart he is dead, on crack, gay, a teen molester, abusive, anything so I can wrap my head around completely detaching!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I then said some of the stuff from that Oprah tape and my letter. I acted as if this would be the last convo I would ever have with this man so I let him have it. I really never want to see him again. he will never ever be the man I married an had kids with. No way. If he did this to me, his mom, my mom, and our daughter, th eprson he lovesmorethan anyone, then he is really gone. I just have to tell my heart he is dead, on crack, gay, a teen molester, abusive, anything so I can wrap my head around completely detaching! I am not saying he is those things it is just an exercise to let him go! But he could be those things he is so depraved. Nothing would shock me from him. Low Life.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
The other night when he called we were making rainbow cookies for his birthday. D6 spelled out WE HEART U DADDY! in rainbow M&Ms. My S2 was eating some left over candies and my H started scolding them sayig , Why does your mother have you up this late? ( Why did he call that late?) Eating candy past 9! That is very bad for you!" I knew that was a slight on my parentig. He is horrible.
This part makes me soooo angry at your H. How dare he attack you and your parenting?? He is very far gone, mk, very far gone. I feel bad for him, he can't go anywhere but further down. And where will it stop? I am so sorry he is that way towards you but its not him. Your H wouldn't do that. This man in the midst of depression/MLC/blindness is the one doing it. Now, whether your (or mine, or any of ours) husband returns, only time will tell.
PS: Isn't that the way? A year ago your H would think it was adorable to decorate a cookie like that, and to see S2 sneak some candy. Now its a point of nastiness to use against you.
what an ass, mk. he is so self centered. the parking thing proves that. but to criticize your keeping the kids up is just wrong. and who is he to talk? I'm guessing some self loathing is in there somewhere.
funny you bring up dr. drew. I have a major (I'm talking major major) crush on him. we're talking school girl, dreamy eyed, weak in the knees crush. cute, and smart too. he makes a good point about the people who gererally populate the sex industry. now, I love sex. I love sexy stuff. in high school, I even read a few mags (along with my bf) and watched a movie or two. but I couldn't get past the notion that the people on the screen were just really sad. this is not a profession people with healthy upbringings normally choose. instead of being turned on, they just made me sad.
(((HUGS))) mk. I'm so sorry, honey.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
omg, lwb, I'd fight you for him. lol. I would. and I'd fight dirty. I don't care how tough you are, chickie. omg, what I wouldn't give to have him sitting on my couch someday when h walked in. hee. like, see ya, ass, don't let the door hit you on the way out. have fun with your skank. look what mommy got in her stocking this year.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
like, see ya, ass, don't let the door hit you on the way out. have fun with your skank. look what mommy got in her stocking this year
OMG lmfao!!!!!
Funny thing you were talking about H walking in the door and finding a man. Mr OhioMark jokingly offered to watch my kids today (when H failed to find a sitter, I was scrambling). Quite a commute for a babysitting gig, but he was saying "Imagine H walking in...'Hi I'm Mark, your wife asked me to watch your kids......'"
