I don't think we can understand what effect the OP has on them. I think that the OP can push so far, ( and in your case I get the feeling that that is what is happening at the moment), and our S's will go along with it and then suudenly they realise they are being pushed and don't like it.
To have gone from being intimate last week to this now makes me think OW is very insecure and pushing hard for a resolution. I don't believe she knows about your H and you being intimate, or the strain your H would be under now would be directed in another way. If you can get to being the one that isn't putting pressure on I think you may see another change in your H.
To enable himself to get through that meeting yesterday he probably had to demonise your M. I expect he loaded himself up with all the bad memories to enable yesterday to happen. He may find temporary relief but once the dust settles he will go into a personal spin I have no doubt. He will find that he cannot make peace with himself eventually. I am sure that is why so many couples actually get to D and then reconnect. At some point he will not be able to hide his inner turmoil from OW. She will be expecting him to be sweetness and light now he has done this - does he look like he feels that way to you?
He is such an idiot!!
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
