So, my H has a soft spot for ow's kids for various reasons and seems to have become quite attached to them. Seems to me that ow is using her kids as pawns to attract MY H - someone else's Daddy!! What a piece of pond scum!!! She's a worse human being than I even thought before!!
This is a personal pet peeve of mine. I get apesh*t furious at the very thought of someone exposing their kids to the A partner. It is such a violation! There is no excuse for this -- I consider this child abuse.
My W knows how I feel about this and yet she's been playing these games. Grrrrrrr.
I can't imagine being the ow's xh KNOWING that the a$$hole (my H) who assisted in breaking up my marriage is now acting like his kid's father and is STILL MARRIED!!
I feel the same way ... although I know my H has not had our D around OW. I would be livid! But our D is 14 and knows enough about the sitch to not want to be with OW. And, my H knows this.
I wonder if it is some sort of child abuse. It can be emotionally bruising for kids who are old enough to wonder what is going on, especially if mom and dad are having problems in the first place.
My H has spent time with OWs kids. One is around 12 and he seems to be somewhat attached to her. But this child apparently has issues; he commented once that he would not want to live with that. Another good thing for me!
On the other hand, it has totally pissed me off when H has blown off time to be with his daughter, to be with OW.
lonelyolive, I have talked to OW's H and he said the one thing that was hardest for him to grasp (during the whole affair) was that MY husband helped HIS daughter get over her fear of the swimming pool slide. She told her dad (OW's H) that "I was afraid, but then Mr. ____ caught me every single time!". Can you imagine hearing that kind of stuff as a dad.
As a mom, when OW was around my kids, it was sickening. She would watch one of them while H would take the other to the bathroom, etc. Just gross. She is a good mom (just bad morals marriage-wise I suppose), so it could be worse. OW's H and I both laid down the rule that they will NOT be around the kids any longer. Its just not right.
I agree, a form of child abuse, even if the kids have no clue what's going on.
My H exposed three of my 4 kids to OW before it came out about the A. I was livid but it turned out to be a big part of their downfall. My second D who was 13 at the time, phoned OW without H and I knowing and told her exactly what she thought of her. OW called my H shocked to tell him. My D then called her back and left a message on OW's answer phone that OW couldn't understand as my D was crying so much. She then phoned my H and told him that my D had called again and she couldn't understand it but as she assumed it was an apology for what my d had said earlier to tell my D thank you. WTF!!!!! D got really mad then and left another message that OW could not not understand. I think at that point it dawned on OW that trying to move into my shoes would not be very easy as my children would NEVER accept her. Her children were younger and obviously had not voiced an opinion about the fact that their mother had deserted them to try and get with her boss!!!
saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Thanks lwb. She is a little spitfire - her face was a picture when she thought OW thought she had apologised!!! Actually that daughter's BF lives around the corner from OW's parents and I did wonder what would happen if she bumped into OW dropping off or picking kids up. She has never mentioned it happeneing but I bet sparks would have flown. Generally she is a very kind and loving kid but she got very defensive about what her father did. With my kids being that bit older I had to work very hard to not let my hurt make them dislike their dad. The older three were great alies though. They watched my back even though they love their dad very much.
My son, (who is 12 coming up to 13), has never talked much about what happened but if I look sad he will always come up and give me a quiet hug. Yep Yoyo, he's the sweaty hampster one, but he has started showering a lot more recently!!!! I wonder if there is a young lady he likes saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I read an interesting article the other day and thought of you ladies.. It was a list of reasons why someone should end an affair and one of them was that typically a person "affairs down". I immediately thought of Yoyo's H's ow and her hideous clothes and Joie's drunken nut-case... hahahaha!! So sad, but true!
And so... I've calmed down a bit from the other day about the whole kid thing. I'm still on my moral high horse about it but, I guess I should be thankful that he is following my request not to expose our child to the ow.
HUGS!!!