Yeah I know. It is so darn hard. I just want to make him better.... and I can't. He has to want it for himself and right now... he doesn't ... just stinks.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
He just called and informed me I have to come Sunday because OW is coming tomorrow and of course I lost it.
What should I do?
My opinion is I have more self respect than to take the left over day she wants. I feel I shouldn't go at all. I have nothing left nice to say to him right now. I am angry. Any advice?
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
you could tell him that if he wants you there, it will have to be that day, or nothing. That you are his wife, and you dont deserve to be treated like that.
If you dont hear from him, or if he wont choose over the phone: You might even choose to show up, and make him choose between you two in person.
if he chooses her, then go 100% dark on him. see what he has to say for himself in 3 months.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
I am not going to see him. I ended up in the hospital with 11 stitches in my finger. His mom told him and he didn't even try to call me to see if I was ok. He had promised to call before this even happened. I am going dark as I can. I have no other choice.
How do you go dark when children are involved. Do I just let them answer the phone or do I just not take any calls from him at all? I don't want to deny him his kids but without me talking to him I have no idea his mental stability and what he will say to them. This whole thing stinks but at this point I feel I have to just let him go.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
BTW: IF you're going to go dark on him, deliberately.. i think it's important to let him know why.
In other words, to make it clear to him that you are not talking to him becuase you care about him and he is hurting you, rather than that you arent talking to him becuase you dont care about him.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
BTW: IF you're going to go dark on him, deliberately.. i think it's important to let him know why.
In other words, to make it clear to him that you are not talking to him becuase you care about him and he is hurting you, rather than that you arent talking to him becuase you dont care about him.
That's a good distinction. Amy, what happened to your finger? I missed something somewhere....
On Saturday after praying God would give me a sign on rather I should go see him or not I got it caught in a cotton candy machine and cut the end almost off. Had to have 11 stitches.
He has not called me now in two days. When he calls tonight I plan to tell him to not call me again until he is 100% better and knows what he wants. I am going to tell him that I can not take the pain of his indecisiveness and by him making me cry and hurting me it in turn hurts the kids because they hurt when I do. We will see how that goes. I honestly have at this point no desire to talk to him or see him. I am disgusted at the thought of him so not taking his calls should be easy. His actions at this time are simply repulsive.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
Amy: i'm sorry for your pain. you're in a horrible place.
i know you dont want to suffer any more. I think the "knows what he wants" thing is reasonable. I dont think it is reasonable to demand that he is "100% better" first, though. He may never be "100% better", for one thing. Also, how would you even judge that?
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
I guess you have a point I mainly just mean when he is 100% ready to come to us then he can call me until then he needs to leave me alone. The on again off again is bad on the kids and I. He can call them on their cell if he wants them.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
