Penny, What your husband said sounds so much like mine! I knew the ow wasn't the cause of the failure of our marriage, but I always told H that there was no way we could fix things while she was in the picture. Interesting that all my anger has been directed at the ow instead of at my H. THe one counseling session I went to made me realize that. Guess that is easier than being mad at the person we have loved for so long!
If I could recommend one thing based on my experience these last 6 months--hire a lawyer! Then USE the lawyer!!! As you recall I had a lawyer, but H and I were doing negotiating on our own (to save money). H continues to try to make me feel guilty (and he does that very well!). His latest was "It's immoral of you to ask for any of my retirement account." I was very firm and said that our lawyers would work that out. I haven't cried in front of H for the last month so I am making progress. Even if you never go through with the D, make sure you don't get bullied!
My heart goes out to you! Remember that we both deserve someone that will cherish us! We did the best we knew how as wife, mother, and friend! My sister has been divorced for 15 years and has just met a wonderful man. It wasn't an easy journey, but it gives me hope for a future of happiness.
