Morgan you are forgetting a crucial rule: Believe NOTHING he says and only half of what you see him do.
I agree with Ohio_Mark nothing is "over" and really I think little in your sitch has changed because of this talk. Sure H was spewing, but it is very clear that he still has NO CLUE!
That is just pure bologna what he said about the kids! His actions do not support that at all. His problems do not lie with you or your precious babies, his problems are all with him.
It baffles me when WAS say stuff like that. As if a divorce will aleviate some of their responsibilities... quite the opposite is true, he will have more responsibility piled on.
Morgan you did good , you can be proud of that.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
saffie, he told me at one point that I looked at him like he was an alien. I thought (but didn't say) yep, its all that alien spew.
did I tell you also that he told me I was just waiting him out, that it will finally get too hard for him to do what he wants and he'll have to come home...miserable, of course. I was firm that that wasn't an option. he told me he was a good actor, if it came to that he could fool me into thinking it was real. I told him by the time we got thru all that we needed to in order to move forward, I think any acting would have long been figured out or tossed aside. (not in a threatening way, btw, just on a firm, I'm not settling for less than a real marriage way).
nnp, thanks for the kind words. I need to remember that, about not believing what they say. and yeah, its pure something, that's for sure, that he is making this about me or about the kids.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
oh you're up... lots of posting going on while I was typing. I just read the other things you posted that he said. The more I read what he said the more obvious it is that he is a very confused man. Sounds to me like he is trying to justify himself.
I for one am glad you told him you are not dating. I have never understood what purpose it serves to let the WAS think you are doing so.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Sorry you are having a rough night. It is almost 4 AM here. I am up from crazy H dreams too. They have a way of really getting in there don't they?
Your H sounds still very deep in his fog, but is still very much fog. He definitely doesn't live in reality. Well, not any healthy reality that I know. Obviously, it is his reality.
This is clearly about HIM. It is not about you or the children. This is HIS problem, and he is just doing his darndest to poin the finger at whom ever and what ever he can. He is unhealthy, but we have known that for a while, right.
I know yesterday was a doosey, but the core of the matter has not changed. Your H's issues are exactly the same as last week, last month, etc. He's simply traveling down the same road and finally reached a new landmark.
Please please please don't believe that this is about you or your children. He is DELUSIONAL.
(((HUGS)))
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
yep, he's delusional. he is. and his issues/our issues are exactly the same....but guessing they are moving toward the resolution he wants.
I just called to say hi to the kids and find out when he was bringing them home. he sounds angry...if possible, angrier than he was last night when he left. should make for an interesting drop off. going to have to stay on my toes to not allow myself to get baited.
I need to work on realizing divorce is very likley (if not impossible to avoid at this point) and I also have to get my ducks in a row about him introducing the kids to ow. I'm guessing he's going to fight a bit dirty now, and I'm guessing he's going to have them spending time together by the holidays. no doubt in my mind he'll go that route.
hate that my kids are being put in this position. but I won't make it harder on them. I will do all I can, if it does happen, to make it smooth for them, and make it okay. wow, that sucks. but it is what it is. I think its going to be hard on them no matter what. although maybe they will end up loving her, too. my kids are so sweet, maybe they will adjust quickly to daddy's new life. hurts me to think of it, but better than them being hurt. although I guess a part of me wishes it wouldn't be quite so easy for h.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
it's the resolution he THINKS he wants at this moment in time. It may not be ultimately what he wants.
You need to think about your want and needs now. You are such a brave lady and you look out for your children so well and put their need first. One day your H will open his eyes and see this and your children will appreciate you for it.
((((HUGS)))))
saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Morgan I am so very proud of you! You did it! You met this bomb head-on and resolved to stay focused and strong. And I truly believe it's caused your H to go into a tailspin. Give them enough rope...
It's amazing how out of control they act when we remain calm. It's like all of the fire and anger they are trying to hit us with boomerangs on them and attacks them instead. Can't you just envision a Marvel comic strip? A proud female superhero standing tall with a DB across her chest with one arm outstretched deflecting a lighting bolt and aiming it back towards the villain who's attacking her. hehehe.
I am praying for you today. I also disagree that it's 100% over from your H's pov. What matters is when YOU say it's over.
HUGS to you today!
Me (36) H (42) M (12) S-8 D-5 SS-18 D Day (PA) 12/02 S 10/03 R 1/03 S again 9/07 I choose Joy.
