Did you guys ever watch a movie that just leaves you speechless. I mean just rocks you to your core. That happened to me tonight. I watched that movie Premonition with Sandra Bullock.
I broke down and just started crying. I wish so bad my husband was here as he at work right now. I am going to brave another relationship talk. I have been living in limbo and not saying a word. The movie got me thinking about looking back in time. Where I started working. We were hardly together. I think he was resentful he had work to do in the home, a job to go to also and no wife around a lot. A lot of fighting and arguing started. There was just this tension between us a lot. If I could just turn that clock back to the time before he started going to dating sites and seeking out women.
Another thing just struck me about my husband. There is this girl at work. He use to talk about her a lot. But hardly does anymore. I never even gave it a thought that possibly she could be the one he is possibly involved with. I know about the dating sites so of course he did cheat by the letters and registering and all that. But my gut tells me there is something more going on. Well, this girl at his work broke up with her boyfriend recently. Well, about that time is when my very nonagressive husband started driving around with a bat in his car. He just let it slip she broke up with her boyfriend. Seems like to much of a coincidence. Then right before that I had mentioned possibly wanting to get a very small tatoo. Like one on the ankle. Well, he started calling someone that use to work where he did. My daughter overheard me asking him why he would be calling a girl that use to work there and dialing *67. My daughter later confronted him and and he told her he was calling this girl because she knows someone who does tatoo's real cheap and this was going to be a surprise to me. All my husband told me was it was surprise. My daughter told me what he said about the tatoo surprise. Well, this was a couple months ago. Now this other girl that broke up with the boyfriend my husband had mentioned she got a tatoo on her back. Don't know how it came up but he looked horrified that he mentioned it. So I don;t know he may be doing something else he may not be. I just know what my gut tells me.
I have acted as if ever since I found the letters to this other girl from dating site. That was 5 months ago. Then I watched that movie and I can't stop crying. I just want to hold him right now and tell him I love him. Tell him we can get past this. Tell him we can be better then ever before. It's amazing when we think we are at our strongest how we can crumble in an instant.
