Snodderly - that is so true. In every way [except perhaps the sex - from what I hear, the OW is verging on the nymphomaniac!]
But I actually no longer obsess about the OW - I did, but about six months ago I just stopped. I realised that she wasn't worth my head space. I know what she is like for a lot of reasons, but I think about her VERY seldom. I think about my h more, because I had a long and happy time with him, and am actually sad to see him like this, and sad for the damage he has caused to those who love him.
It is absolutely true that my h was HORRIFIED that I was able to truthfully say I was happy and fulfilled in my life! Not the script at all!
And, as I have posted elsewhere I absolutely know if it were not her it would be someone else. He was an affair waiting to happen, because of his insecurities and miseries.
I am cross in general with these emotiional leeches, but can see they are damaging and damaging to those around them, including their own children [who are probably the next generation of MLCers!]
I realise that I supported a very damaged man for a long time, and facilitated [I don't think I encouraged it] a co-dependency that was unhealthy. DUring that time I became in some way his mother/authority figure, and when my mother died it all fell apart for him . . and then his eldest son got engaged to a very lovely girl.
Something happened . . .he became the older generation and he wasn't ready for it. . . that together with career problems, and the health scare [predictably 18 months prior] just sent him off the rails. . .
