Thanks SNodderly - Yes, true drop outs are rare, - in fact quite honestly I think my h is a (infrequent) drop-let - he would have a lot more contact if I encouraged it. It is me who keeps him at arms length because he is so crazy, and damaging to me.
I simply made the dicotomy for simplification, but I can see it wasn't halpful. My h would quite like it if we met sometimes. he has emailed me to try and keep contact, and he is upset that I don't want contact 'as friends'.
I sup[ose I was distinguishing between those who keep very frequent contact, and the rest, droplets and drop-outs.
It is my pride, and my gut feeling that he will get through the process 'better' without my intervention. He has to stop seeing me as his mother. I don't handle interaction well, while he is crazy.
I really think that apart from the total drop outs they are all droplets with varying degrees of need for interaction - some daily or more frequently, some a few times a week, and so on. thanks for straigtening this out..
