Angelica, You have discussed drop ins and drop outs, but you've forgotten the droplets. The droplets are those who come to call every now and then. I would classify the spouses of BND and Hopefloats as droplets in many ways because they did have some communication w/them throughout the crisis. You can't classify them as dropouts because they did/do drop in from time to time, i.e., phone calls, tms, emails are all part of the drop in calling cards. In your case, as well as my own, our spouses are dropouts who disappear for weeks, months on end without a peep.
It's important that posters be reminded that that there are three types of "drops" on the radar scale, not two. The ones we see more frequently are the drop ins and droplets. The drop outs are very distant and have emotionally detached so much more so than then other two that it's very hard to communication w/them and reconciling w/them is quite difficult until they are starting to wake up and begin reaching out to the lbs. They are the true Rip Van Winkles of the bunch, i.e., who go into a hole and aren't heard from again and until one day, they wake up and ring your doorbell.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
