Dear Beth, I'm sort of dealing with the same situation..but for the last 5 years!
If you have proof of an ongoing affair your H and OW are living in never-never land and there is no reality for them except each other.
My story is too long to tell, but now knowing for sure that there is someone else is actually very important for me as I can now move on, divorce, and find someone who wants to be with me. I will never trust her again after all the things she has told me so I need her out of my life. I unfortunately feel that once someone has cheated and tasted the forbidden fruit, then they will probably do it again. More importantly, I doubt you will ever trust him again now that he has done the deed. These things just happen, unfortunately. He may repent, but I would only believe him/her after a solid divorce and a least a couple of years divorced to know that he/she really, really wants to be there.
And in the meantime, go meet some people who are honest and can tell the truth who you feel safe with. That's the key word for me "safe". And that may mean I will live alone forever, but it will be 100 times better than living with a dishonest, decietful person who knows how to take advantage of you.
The worst part is that I am now doing what I should have done 5 years ago, but it has taken me this long to get over her and realize what a mess she is and how someone who is involved with a 3rd party needs to be told to hit the road so they can live the life they only now imagine while they live in the dreamland of their affair. Then and maybe only then will they get a clue as to the havoc they have created in their world and for those that live with them and love them.
