Angelica,
Thank you! This is a fascinating question for me. My H still wants to come spend the night maybe once a week. I am fortunate that even though he has told me that he wants to "date" other women, he hasn't done it, yet.

So, for now, I welcome him happily and even invite him to stay. Sex seems to be the one time when he is at ease in my presence, and that feeling seems to carry over for a little while, afterwards...

However, the couple of friends of mine who know about this are appalled--they call it cake-eating, tell me that now is the time to "take a stand", that he is acting crazy, etc.

H has been fence-sitting for over a year. It took him that long to decide to actually move out, after telling me that was what he wanted to do. I think going to MC actually cornered him into taking a stronger and stronger MLC stand, until he almost had to move out, to save face. Now that he lives in an apartment, he tells me that he is really struggling with depression, and "can't go forward or go back."

At this point, in many ways he is nicer to me than ever, and I credit that to DBing, which I started about 6 months ago. I feel a lot of empathy for how unhappy he is, and understand that it is not within my power to fix it.

However, despite our sex life, I know that he has an eye out for another woman, and feels like 3 decades with me, raising a family, etc. caused him to miss out on something that could be the ticket to happiness...

I am appalled by his logic, and the senseless rejection of his life. He has tried to talk about this to a couple of friends, who have known us both for years, and they told him that what he is saying is nuts...

Anyway, I am very interested in what others have to say on this topic. For now, I want the physical intimacy, but it is hard for me to imagine wanting it if he is having a PA with another woman.

I just keep telling myself to be patient, to find other ways to feel joy or a sense of connection (there are a lot of those), and to wait to see what the future holds, and how I feel about it. However, living in limbo like this sure goes against my natural impulses...